Sorry for existing 

I want to say 

but I know you won't understand 

you'll try to fix me with your words

"don't say that, you are worth everything" 

the only kind of worth I have stings when I try to wear it

I'm beaten and it's too painful to wear my scars today 

 

Sorry for existing

I know I didn't do anything to hurt you 

but I hurt myself enough to convince my worn down mind to let me

stay in under the covers today 

"Just choose to be happy" 

if I could choose to be happy don't you think I would have already tried that

my eyes are so tired I'm hallucinating 

about a better time 

 

Sorry for existing

your messages are pounding in my head like a migraine 

"But you look fine"

Sometimes violent does not have a face, 

only a stomach drop 

an empty room

an emotionless drone 

I can't cry out for fear my mind would hear 

and lock me back in 

 

Sorry for existing 

Maybe I just won't for a while 

"You don't mean that, pain is temporary" 

No, I'll just rest and hope sleep is kinder.