What is wrong with me?

Why do I have to be this way?

Why cant I just be someone normal for the day?

I can't be happy no matter how hard i try.

I can't go one day without saying “I wish I could die”.

It scares my mother when I say those things

But honestly she shouldn’t be

Everyone knows the people that keep saying it

never actually follow through with it

And Im sorry

Im sorry.

Im sorry.

Im sorry.

I apologize brother

I was only trying to plan something fun.

I realize now I shouldn’t even try

because I know know nothing I do

will ever satisfy you

You probably won't ever even read this

I'm mean really why would you?

You have so many other more important things to do.

Don't worry brother Im done trying to have fun.

Fun never works for me anyway

Why cant I just be someone normal for the day?

Maybe when I move away

I will be able to fix myself and be someone

Someone people will actually want to be friends with

I sure hope so

But I also really doubt my abilities to learn and change

I'm just too awkward and strange

I seriously doubt I can ever change.

I need to just accept the fact that Im lame

I will always be picked last to play your games

I need to just realize I can't do anything right

Thats exactly why I am no one’s type

I am me

and me is not who I want to be

Why must I be this way?

Why?

Why?

    Why can’t I just be someone normal for the day?

Someone normal just isn’t me

And for that I am truly sorry.

 

Love,

your uncool sister

Emma.