Before each deployment,

we moved about quietly,

so as not to upset you

You desperately sending friend requests on Facebook,

from a laptop,

alone in the darkness of your room

I was right there but you hid away from me,

from us

Then one morning you'd be gone

Our mother left to manage it all yet again, four kids, bills,

all the unanswered questions

Where did you go?

For how long this time?

Didn't dad want to hug us good bye?

Mom cried for you,

wasted tears

You never called,

never emailed,

nothing 

People would say thank you for your service,

we hope your dad comes back safe

You always did

Each time more angry and distant

Mom cried for us,

desperate tears

Wars killed so many families;

our family is dead

I was right there but you hid away from me,

from us