so no one would hear her scream
Location
they never saw the real me
the one i hid away in my closet
buried with the things i hid from society
tied her up and taped over her mouth so no one would hear her scream
i remember being happy
it's like a faraway dream
a distant memory that keeps slipping
just out of my reach
happiness became a foreign feeling
i remember the day it left me
it was the day that i was told i was unappealing
by a boy in the eighth grade
i became obsessed with the idea of enough
good, smart, pretty, skinny
i began to struggle, i was entirely too rough
happiness for my life turned to hate
i hated all my looks
i hated my personality
i hated how i wasn't smarter than the books
i hated every detail about my young self
it manifested into routines
cutting turned into not eating
and soon i wanted to stop breathing
all because of a boy
a boy who told me i wasn't pretty
enough
a boy who felt it his right to touch me
without my permission
a boy that was the catalyst
for all the things that happened
the reason the joy of high school was missed
and why i became obsessed
obsessed with my body
and how it wasn't right
obsessed with everybody
and what they thought of me
so that's why i hid her
why i tied her up and taped over her mouth
it's getting harder and harder to remember
but i think i can still see her beautiful smile