Snowball

Sat, 09/06/2014 - 20:02 -- jberja

Straight up walking with that Filipino-rooted feet

My mind wanders off in a whirlwind

But this ain’t really about my origins right now

But it’s about me currently

Beyond the bleeds, I hope this poetry demolishes all that negativity and bring back happiness in me

Hopefully will be a poetic justice to combat it mentally and emotionally

And if this can’t translate into bars with a decent pace,

Then there better be a way for me to die with a real smile on my face

 

Over these past three years, I’ve been feeling weird

Overwhelmed, stressed, depressed,

Am I an emotional wreck?

It’s like all these feelings got caught in a snowball, just kept going,

Rolling, getting bigger that I never got to chop up about or express

Now it’s even harder to analyze what’s really putting me down

I now have to put the effort into smiling instead of a frown

Was told to find the light but now I feel the light betraying me

Folks telling me I seem different

It’s like I’m a walking dead now because I never listened

Never got to pour out all this shit

So it led to setting my mind on the fritz

 

I blame the societies’ expectation of how girls and boys should be,

Because it made my words as vague as it seems.

I really hope to be redeemed,

Never had the chance to vent, jeez.

I don't know and as redundant as it sounds,

Through these frustrating writings,

Digging through this giant snowball,

I hope to find inner peace and something enlightening.

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