Smile

My smile

Is cover art

For the bigger picture beneath

& I pray you don’t discover the true me

My lips are silhouettes of pain

A cabalistic crevice that stifles

My inner deliberations

 

My psychologist told me

That it’s a defense mechanism

To disguise my authenticity

Pfff…

But I told him

Any good defense

Is good offense

& No off-ense

But … HE LEFT ME!

 

Imprisoned in my own thoughts

Mere memories building blocks

Vocals, writers, lungs suppressed

To the tippity top

Trynna catch my breath is it bad

That I don’t mind if it completely stops

HE … LEFT ME HERE

Is where he left me

Drowning in my own sorrows

Hoping that this nightmare will

Turn into a mere fantasy

& I’m shaking and panicking

At the sound of his name

I told him I’ll be back

He’ll benefit from my fame

Daddy I’mma make you proud

But ... You left meeeee

 

And yeah mommy’s there you see

But not how you used to be

I can see it in her eyes

I lack importance

Cause she shows no affection

When she speaks

Her tears dried

Maybe casted upon me

Cause her eyes show defeat

 

Ever witness the sun die

& lose it’s a luminescence

No love just pain

That devours my essence

Daddy’s little princess’s birthday

Was ruined by the black dresses

Black ties, shattered lives

& yet I remain the only one drowning

 

Who’s gonna walk me down that aisle

& watch me cross that stage

Father-Daughter dances seem so pointless

Now a days

Who’s gonna keep those monsters away

Lord knows mommy’s not there for me every

Step of the way

Mommy look what I did

Good for you

Knowing if it was you

You come fully through

Decked out in your freshest suit

Cheering on your baby girl

In everything she’d do

 

I used to be bulletproof

But I’ve been shot so many times

This pain finally penetrated my defenses

Took my crown and name me insignificant

Mommy is only focused on her

Precious little princes

 

But I’ll never forget the day

These robber came and took

My only one, my shield

My protection, my life

My father, my everything

 

Ever since you left everything’s

Changed for me

My smile fictitious, fabricated, fraudulent

Vivacity completely decimated

Sunken chest

Appetite eradicated

“She lost a lot of weight”

Cause I lost my everything

And daddy please I know you’ll walk

With me every step of the way but..

 

Your presence is near

You’re here to support me

I’m here baby girl can you feel me

I feel you daddy and trust me

 

If I could get

Another chance

Another walk

Another dance with him

I’d play a song that would

Never, ever end

How I’d love loooveeee

To dance with my father again