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92114
United States
32° 42' 14.4504" N, 117° 2' 59.9496" W
See map: Google Maps
92114
United States
32° 42' 14.4504" N, 117° 2' 59.9496" W
See map: Google Maps
92114
United States
32° 42' 14.4504" N, 117° 2' 59.9496" W
See map: Google Maps
I signed up for Facebook without knowing the consequences
I didn't realize that when I logged in today the rumors would follow me here too
I scroll through an infinite number of notifications, accusations
I should log off, leave this behind, but I can't
I want to, need to see
I willfully sit there as they hurl the names at me
Dyke, Lesbian, Butch
I say I don't care what they are calling me
But I don't know if I'm trying to convince them, or myself
I've started counting the insults with scars on my arms
The internet has changed from a place of escape to a place of fear and loathing
I fight the tears, push them back because if I cry I'll never stop
I fight my limbs to leave, to run away
But my eyes are locked to a glowing screen of hate
An online campaign is started
"She Should Kill Herself"
I don't want to give them the satisfaction
But that page calls me, beckoning to a thing inside
The relief would feel so good
They tell me it'll get better
They've been saying that for three years
But how can it get better when the evidence is permanently there
The internet does not know how to forgive, and it certainly doesn't know how to forget
My arms bear the marks of my screams
I pray to a deity, any deity, who could destroy this
I've never believed in any god, but I would if this would just go away
The stigma follows me
It lives in my footsteps
Like a piece of gum squished beneath a foot on a hot day
It pulls on me
My computer is no longer a tool of pleasure
It is a tool of torture
Poetry Slam: