Shades of Him, Hues of You

I’ve grown sick of this belief drilled in your head

I swear, he’s perfect when were alone together

When every night last week I laid restless in my bed

Listening to you sneak outside to cry apologies in icy weather


I could not care less that the boy

Has a fantastic sense of humor

When your every laugh, he aims to destroy

Because it’s easier to laugh at your expense, at a rumor


He told his friends he couldn’t hang out with them

Because He had to go to your house out of the blue

As if it’s an utter burden

To have to spend a single night with you


“Well I did make a big deal out of nothing. I hate to disdain.”

Those words made me want to vomit

I wanted you to see, your short-lasting frustrations were not in vain

He just made you think they were, and you latched on like a comet.


Because compared to the zero dates

The ones he didn’t bring you on

In the past six months of no shows and hour lates’

It was a big deal. A redundant phenomenon


I mean you took off work, it is to worry

You have been saving up for college

You used to say you wanted to get out of Missouri

Something that disappeared from your knowledge


I remember the time you got a lead

The city musical, not just some school thing

Mom, dad, and I knew you would succeed

Sweetie, you were meant to sing.


You perfected that monologue for so long

The tips of each finger lined with papercuts

Band-Aided and bruised you performed your song

You emptied your heart out; it took guts


But then you told him, and he was furious,

Incredulously furious - Boiled to his brim

He tore at you, yelled, the man’s injurious

In front of everyone he asked why you didn’t love him


How were you supposed to know Meg kissed someone?

Why can’t you just make it fake? You begged in disgrace

That’s when the director told you that a lip isn’t a gun

If you’re scared, maybe you’re simply in the wrong place.


You denied the part, told people you quit

I can still see your face tighten and wooden

Anytime someone mentions it

Or Even speaks the words Little or Woman


Oh, and remember the dress?

The one I had gotten you for your birthday?

You pummeled me with bear hugs in my success

You couldn’t wait to put it on, and that’s a downplay


I remember mother’s cheer as she yelled to father

“Doesn’t she look so sexy and mature?”

Father just pouted comedically in bother

He didn’t want you to grow up; you were “too pure!”


You spun around the living room, a Marilyn with better pipes

In love with the elegance, you nearly wore it to bed

It was pearl white, and tight, with light blue stripes

You even curled your locks of Indian red


You got so many compliments on your special day

Too many for him

You were purposely trying to Broadway

All of the other guy’s attention


It was disgusting, apathetic

And kind of Selfish, for real

You knew how pathetic

That was going to make him feel


The next day that dress was worn was in three years’ time

When I had finally grown into your curves

Mother smirked to dad. She told him I was a dime

The speed of growing up, how it got on father’s nerves


I wanted to laugh with light thoughts

But instead it made me sick

Sick with blood boiling and stomach knots

It made me remember that piece of shit


I remember the time when we were both young

You told me that my standards were too high

You told me I needed to watch out or I’ll get stung

Because they don’t get much better than this, no matter how much you try


In irrationally rational anger I had to detest

If this is it, the end all

If this is the best of the best

Then remember to never let me trip and fall


If love was what you had

Let no lover cross me again till last breath

If this was it then give me that

Or give me liberty! Or give me death!


My fear strengthened, hands tied in midst malign

What if he’s the only one I’ll ever find

He doesn’t want me to leave him behind

Maybe I’ll go to school nearby


But then a little letter came

From a school about three hours away

Not far, but far enough, all the same

Far enough that she couldn’t stay


Four years of her blind suffering was gone

Within two months of open eyes

Seeing her wounds, the daggers of fawn

Was what collapsed her demise


This poem is about: 
My family
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741