Self Loathing

Thu, 01/17/2019 - 15:11 -- Hlucas

Do not leave your house, my love
Your face is rather petrifying
I will strive to push and shove
I'd rather you be dying
Cancer came and took your eye
Took your self-esteem
Kidnapped your pride
It may come and it may go
Remission is only temporary
All the other kids will know
They'll say your eye is scary
Acrylic paint on plastic
Forms your new false eye
It took some wild tactics
But you'd still much rather die
They'll laugh, they'll stare
You're bullied at home
They do not care
If you feel so alone
You hate yourself
It's inescapable, endless
Put your heart up on a shelf
'Cause guarding're restless

This was the voice inside my head for 14 years
I turned 16 and decided to face my fears
To accept my disability and be proud of who I am
I now express myself in as many ways as I can
Insecurity is the biggest disease known to mankind
Puts you through the ringer, self-love is hard to find
Cancer took my eye, that is a guarantee
Two years old, I suffered such insanity
Though it took my eye, it did not take my sight
My creativity is something that took flight
Within the world I have found such beauty
Though my world is half of yours
This diagnosis and recovery opened so many doors
Conquered my fear of going out and showing off my face
My self-loathing left and confidence took its place
Active ACS advocate, volunteering all the time
Reminding other fighters that they will surely be fine
Spreading the love to the world is my only goal
My eyesight may be cut in half, but my soul is whole

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