Crucial: a day, year, month in which
I can never turn back.
Now, no turning back does not mean I cannot look forward,
and looking forward does not mean I can't learn from my past.
Existentially, I have very little idea of who I am,
but I am learning.
This year, I directed, refreshed, expected, wanted, and wept, and chose.
I took the path that people expected of me,
and I learned how my heart could break
until I was gasping, pleading for a way out.
When I look at where I could have ended up, where I found myself was not so bad,
but it took the heart out of me.
College graduate (up), fast food worker (down),
World traveler (up), kindergarten teacher (down)--
But none of these are my complete and utter identity.
Not one aspect of my personality defines me in my totality.
I've learned that I am not just one thing--
I am a kaleidescope, colors in motion, never stagnant.
I am the sun on the waves, flickering in a dance that you cannot memorize.
I am more than the boundaries and expectations that I place