Sun, 12/04/2016 - 21:53 -- kjosull

Crucial: a day, year, month in which

     I can never turn back. 

Now, no turning back does not mean I cannot look forward, 

     and looking forward does not mean I can't learn from my past. 

Existentially, I have very little idea of who I am, 

     but I am learning. 

This year, I directed, refreshed, expected, wanted, and wept, and chose. 

I took the path that people expected of me,

     and I learned how my heart could break

     and crumble,

     until I was gasping, pleading for a way out. 

When I look at where I could have ended up, where I found myself was not so bad,

     but it took the heart out of me. 

College graduate (up), fast food worker (down), 

World traveler (up), kindergarten teacher (down)--

But none of these are my complete and utter identity. 

Not one aspect of my personality defines me in my totality. 

I've learned that I am not just one thing--

I am a kaleidescope, colors in motion, never stagnant. 

I am the sun on the waves, flickering in a dance that you cannot memorize. 

I am more than the boundaries and expectations that I place

Upon myself. 

I am 


This poem is about: 


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