The Scared Lover
She cries when no one is watching
She acts like everything is okay
She lets you think that she is strong
When deep down inside she's nothing but torn
She keeps her distance
She let's you think what you want
She's nothing but innocent
But her innocence was lost in a moment.
A moment that you may not know about
A moment where no one heard her screams or shouts
A moment that she hides deep inside her
The moment that brought her here... a place where she does nothing but hide
She loved you once, twice, and three times now
But she will never do anything about it
She'll take the blame and not mention a name
But her family will pay for it
It's the thirteenth floor that she sits on
Going over and over all the things that happen
She refuses to let this bring her down
But her own life she wishes she had taken
She wrestles with herself and puts on a fake smile
People think she's okay but it's been a mask all the while
And when she walks away from it all
She wonders what exactly she is fighting for
Trust is something that's hard for her to comprehend
It's something she would recommend
She hides herself away instead
And fools everyone with the happy expressions on her head
In the middle of the night
She curls into a ball and wonders why she went through all of this
The pain
The blood
The mental reconstruction
The fear
She knows there is more to life but the strife seems to outweigh the good in her life
She depends on one singular person
Someone who shares in her hurts
Someone that thinks the way that she does
Someone who understands what it's like to be taken advantage of
But they don't know what's it's like to have it repeatedly done to you
To think that is a regular everyday process
Your mind will never be like the others around you
Those who wake up after the dew
Those who think they know you
Those people with their first world problems
When you sit back and watch them be too lazy to solve them
You sit and cry because you'd rather die than have to live with this pain
You can't hold it back anymore
Your self-inflicted designs on your wrists are no longer enough
You confess your sins and say a quick prayer
You tell yourself it's better now than later
You empty the bottle
And with one huge gulp
You swallow your death
...Life was too hard...