Routine
I sit at my cafeteria table surrounded by many but feeling alone.
I look out upon the place that is supposed to be happy and fair, instead
I see girls that drink iced coffee for every meal,
so they aren't afraid to step on the scale.
I see my friends stab invisible knives into each other's backs with cold smiles plastered on their faces, I know this mask all too well.
I walk home from school that day, men in their trucks slow down as they pass me, they scream out “smile more you’ll look prettier”, I start to walk faster.
I sit down to do my homework, my siblings begin to fight, screaming loudly until my father comes in screaming louder and drags them away, I go to my room and lock the door.
I hear the safeness of small talk at the dinner table with underlying tension running hot, I wonder what they’ll fight about tonight.
I hear the familiar muffled voices from my bedroom growing louder and louder, I put on my headphones and listen to my favorite sound, white noise,
So I can finally hear nothing.