I used to ache for you to know me.
For you to wonder about my depths and reason,
For you to fall into my cracks and find pieces of yourself you never knew you lost.
I used to wish to hear those words drip from your lips,
To feel them crawl into my heart and let them echo until they ran tired enough to melt and fill every space that had been left so long vacant.
I used to hear you everyday.
Screaming reassurance that never actually escaped your mouth. Allowing it to keep me sane and insane in separate yet equally imaginative parts.
But time and ambiguity withered at me until my flame caught yours.
And though you may have melted, you again hardened like wax, while i watched myself sift through your untethered fingers.
I’ll escape in the smoke, and find relief in the air.
I used to ache.
I used to yearn.
I used to wish to be with you,
but your hesitation woke me up.
I escaped from your spell, and found relief in reality.
And it feels good to be free.