The Raven Parody (Christmas)


I'll always remember a cold snowy morning in December.

I awoke before seven and ran down stairs and sat by the pine tree.

As I sat I wondered what was wrapped, so I picked a box and tapped!

My mouth was watering at the sight, I had to pick my three!

I was so excited to see gifts wrapped I could almost pee!

I think my parents would agree, I was happy as could be.


As I unwrapped the first one, I was so grateful that I was not done.

Behind the golden paper inside the box held my favorite toy.

Shiny and plain, I held it in my hands, my very first train.

"I always wanted this!" I yelp, setting it up with great joy.

The next gift was wrapped in blue and green paper, fit for a boy.

There was a white sticker that said "Merry Christmas cousin Roy!"

My Pirate King says, "Ahoy!".


Although there was one toy I did not see. My Father said to me,

"Sonny boy, I'm sorry that I didn't get you the most perfect gift..."

I looked my Father in the eye and said, "You are going to die!

I plan to take your life, your hold on this world is set to shift.

So be afraid, for tonight my greed will spawn hell's deepest rift."

Then his blood began to sift.


And so I stared at his lifeless corpse, I will never feel remorse.

I could not stop without brutality, my hunger would not let me.

The flesh I began to devour, it would feed me for one hour.

His flesh filled the hole greed left in my heart, and I sang in glee.

Blood nourished the thirst in my teeth, this is the start of the spree.

We're one happy family.


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