My reflection showing hate

Destructive thoughts would not shake

I needed them to validate

“What a pretty smile”

Didn't they know it’s fake?

If I only knew

That I needed to love one

Before I could be apart of two

How did I not know?

Love is not isolating

Love does not own

Love is not suffocating

Love starts at home

Then, I received

What I believed.

I deserved, nothing.

It was easy to be deceived,

When I looked right in front of me.

I was so lucky

to give my everything.

I should’ve been able to see

That I was far from reprieve.

Yet, I craved

To detach from my misery.

You know the words that will let you achieve  

And so I let go of reality.

Why?

Because you love me.

A straw that broke the camel's back

There was a shift

No more energy to self-attack.

Thoughts began to drift

Started dreaming of a love that does not lack.

Now, I receive

What I believe

I deserve

My prayers have been heard

I am in a relationship with respect

Where trust does not have to be checked

Where compromise can be met  

I am no longer in fear of individuality

Once again, honesty comes naturally

“Because I love you”

is no longer a trigger for me

“Because I love you”

is now a proclamation

Not a form of manipulation