I couldn't think of anything I hated more than Nihilism.
And anything that has anything to do with Nihilism.
I hated it.
It's starting to make sense, though.
There's only so much slam poetry that I can take
And that I can take
Really, though, I'm sick of slam poetry.
And now all my poetry sounds like slam poetry.
I always felt a little
When those pictures would show up on my Facebook feed.
Oh, oh no.
Shoot. I wish I'd have allowed myself the backspace key.
I could have used some better words just then.
Well, I really mean that I like the pictures
That say things like
"Olny fvie precnet of poelpe cna raed tihs."
Wow. I must be special.
I liked being able to fill in gaps
With my brain.
I liked when people used v
Instead of very
Instead of pretty
Because I didn't have to be told what they stood for.
I liked starting my sentences with the
And being able to finish strong.
Being able to say, "you too"
When the ticket-checker
Told me to enjoy the movie
And finish with, "I hope you…nevermind
I'm sorry." and then some laughter, on both ends.
Nothing gets said,
But we both have fun anyway.
I hated editing poetry in high school.
It seemed like the concepts I wanted to share
Were always taken. Or else they
Were being used by
Slightly more skill and
Nothing seemed to work well for me
Except honesty, in my writing
And in my life.
I don't know anything that other people don't already know,
Haven't already discovered, more like.
The only thing that I can communicate
That nobody has seen before--or
Has seen with a better format
Or some better words
Or some words that sound nicer together than these--
Is the way I think. The way my brain makes a sentence
Tries to alter
And then stutters
Just a little bit.
So nihilism changed me just for the very slight ever slighter
Nihilism changed me ever so slightly for the better.
And then I changed myself even more slightly.
I changed myself for the better, immensely
Because of nihilism.
I recognized that my flaws and mistakes
Could be a part of something. Not really anything…special.
But my line breaks and
All of my odd punctuation…
Could convey something
Other than an enormous epiphany. …
I want to convey the process of creating art
In the art itself.
And by definition, that will make the art worse,
But It allows me to enjoy the process more.
And it allows my audience to connect more with me
When we tried to find our concentrations in art class,
I couldn't find mine.
My teacher sort of BS-ed one for me.
Maybe he didn't. Maybe "engineering" is a legitimate concentration.
I don't know.
But I like the way my sketches look before I add depth
I like the rambley sort of way poetry sounds
Before I pick nice, rosey sorts of words.
And I want to convey the process of life
In my life itself.
And by definition, that will make the life worse,
But it allows me to enjoy the process more.
And it allows my audience to connect more with me.
P.S. I Used the backspace key to correct typos.