Paused

Manipulations runs through my son's veins
At an early age the disease caught him
After the divorce we were stuck with a curse
He had an addiction to making me suffer
Getting his way was the only option we had
Violent outburst, deception, abuse and more
Total distruction and chaos was the life I lived
He was happy only if he gained something
I tried to seek help but it only made things worse
They turned it on me and my son ran with it
Still I tried everything that I possibly could
He turned people against me that I loved
I went to church every Sunday and prayed a lot
But no avail, the Devil won and took my son
12 years old he left to live with his grandma
Where he rules that house with disrespect
Because "he's just a child"
I wasn't a bad mom that he made me out to be
He had a great life and never had to want
I taught him about the less forunate
He once was a little boy that used to donate
A complete gentleman that was so much help
Who used to have movie dates with his momma
Loved to cook, draw and write little books
His favorite was to cuddle and have 'sleepovers'
Where he would sleep in my bedroom with me
But now I sleep with tears on pillow
Cuddling with depression and apart of me gone
While he continues to rack up whatever he wants
Still enjoying making me suffer
Where my life is paused until he returns
And if he does- I hope i'm alive to see it

This poem is about: 
My family

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