It’s taken about five years to understand what exactly Love 

Is, 

Was, 

And could be

Let me begin the story of what once our love was 

Laughter, Grace, Death, Beauty, Deep rooted Emotion 

Found it out of curiosity, and similar interests 

Bound by the nurture that we both lacked and needed

For you listened and all I did was speak 

And listened for the words I solely wanted to hear, and didn’t acknowledge what else you had to say, did I listen too late? 

selfishness is my worst quality. 

No matter how much I explain the love we had and have there’s always a but.. 

whether it was for the better, and for growth 

Nothing else has been so erotic and true within our destined time together 

Misunderstanding actions and not learning from the past mistakes 

For we believed we could overcome it all 

No matter how deep we have fallen 

   We lift each other to the highest of tops 

I idolized you for what I wanted and could be 

Yet always fell short and didn’t provide what you needed to flourish 

I failed you, and you grew way beyond my reach 

For I have plateaued in my love, 

Consistent, but only awaiting the downfall 

And here I am 

Dangerously in love with what could’ve been and what I wanted 

You were in the equation at all times 

But I forgot how to put you into the solution 

For I faced it with alcoholism, and reaching for  the heavens that even my mind couldn’t exceed 

I left behind my values, my morals, my value of what life actually is

A grand women once told me 

You can find a solution for everything except death 

And sometimes things need to die in order for there to be a new life 

This isn’t my last letter about love, 

This isn’t my last outlook on life, 

This isn’t the end of everything we once knew 

For love isn’t what you’re used to, or even the change it brings 

It fills you and even when you are certain it  has left your heart 

It will return

The love I had for you will never leave my heart 

And as though I will always search for you in others my heart shall remain restless 

For it knows that beyond the physical, mental and emotional pain it dwells 

It shall forever prevail to have another love as crazy, as funny and as deep rooted as yours 

For the love that was, I neglected

And the love that is I didn’t nurture 

And for the love that could be shall remain 

Something in our future destinies