One More Chance

Wed, 10/31/2018 - 15:45 -- richr11

I feel nothing


I'm so scared that's so bad


I feel nothing, nothing at all


not happy nor sad




Yet I feel so empty, I feel so alone


my head filled with anchors, my heart is a stone.



My brain fills my head with thoughts like an ongoing battle


except I'm getting shot while I sit here in shackles



I fear there's no escape, from this personal hell


I'm dancing towards death, awaiting the knell



Yet I stay here still standing, I'm too scared to give up


I'm afraid what might happen if I choose to belt up



I'm scared for my family, what would they do?


I'm scared for my friends, how would they make it through?



I'm scared for my brother to be an “only”


The problem is, I just can't stop feeling so lonely.



I just wish I could stop feeling so anxious


My mind is a pulpit, my thoughts are so languid







And then I just feel myself snap-


“You know'd be easier if I let myself hang,


Or a gun?…...bang.”



“or what about a bridge!?


Ah! A sure way to die!”


So I write my will or, at least, try.



I stand by the railing, silently saying goodbyes.


The note I have left will explain to them why.


I take the step up, the largest I've took.


And right as I'm about to jump....



…..“STOP!” and to my left I look...



A girl my age stands, she's a stranger as well


Yet she knew the right words, to make my pain quell-



“You mustn’t give in”


“You must find the strength, it's somewhere within”



“You cannot succumb, you must never bow”


“You can beat this, I swear, you just must just learn how”



“You have purpose here, that is certainly true”


“Sir, PLEASE push on, you CAN make it through”



Please sir, please, give life another shot!


Please go talk to someone, even if you think it's for naught!



“Please, I know you feel blue”


“Please sir, step down, if not for me, then for you”



Slowly my knees begin to quiver....



“Please sir!!


I'm pleading!!”


“Trust me, I've been in your place!


I've lived in the place where the sun does not shine


Where day after day, life seems so sublime


I sat after he committed suicide and stared at the wall


and I felt like you, like there's nothing inside me at all


no desperation or joy


nor happy or mad


just a little sad nothing


who felt nothing but sad.


my parents called the doctor


He said “we'll give you these pills that won't let you sleep right”


So I stared at my walls for the day AND the night


And everyone said “You must be tough, you cannot give in even when life's gone rough”


But I had decided enough was enough.



I went to the store and bought corded rope


I felt so dead inside, I just couldn't cope


I tied the knot to the railing real well


And I jumped off the chair hearing death's bell


But the rope gave out


And I'm happy it did


Because the second I jumped, I WANTED to live.”






To which I replied:


“I came here with the purpose of dying today.”


“I had had taken the key and thrown it away”



“Something inside me snapped.


Like a big rubber band”



“I hated my life


Thought I'd been dealt a bad hand”



“Stranger, I thank you.


“I feel less alone”



“And If it weren't for you,


I'd 've jumped,


Right now I'd be dead.”



“But I think I'll step down from this railing,


and thank you instead.”



So down I stepped and thanked the girl,


This giver of hope.


I'd give life one more chance,

@page { margin: 0.79in }
p { margin-bottom: 0.1in; line-height: 120% }

Just like her rope.

This poem is about: 
Our world


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741