One bad morning when I missed the bus, 

Turned into a a series of extremely unfortunate events that I need to discuss.

It started out when my phone fell into a tall glass of OJ,

It sizzled and smoked, and I thought to myself, no way.

No way could it only be 6 am, and this already happened

But then I thought, what did they do without phones back then?

Then I remembered my broken device, 

Jumped out of bed, and took my own, might I add, terrible advice

Be yourself, others won't judge,

Except for my teacher, the one and only Mrs. Mcdud

She commented daily on how I look tired, 

Sometimes I wanna say I HOPE YOU GET FIRED

But then I think, that's a little shallow to say 

But then again, I HATE YOU MORE EACH DAY

You tell me I'm late when I stepped in at the bell, 

I hope they give you a detention in Hell.

I take it back, that was kind of rude

But then again, why did you call home saying I gave you attitude?

The only thing I should give you, that your fat self might deem delicious 

Is a big fat knuckle sandwhich, and no i'm not being "ficticious"

You overuse that word too much, along with Golden Girls references 

No one watches your prehistoric shows,

And by the way, it's illegal to read through your student's phone messages

I, as well as the entire population, don't appreciate your lisp

You spit when you talk, you smell like old fish 

I wish I could say these things to your face, 

And tell you how your boyfriend must have terrible taste.

I'm not being rude, I'm just speaking my mind

You are the worst person ever, 

And that's me being kind. 

I could say much worse, 

But I'd rather not get into a tussel, 

I'll leave you with this:

I know what you did with Mr. Russel.