When I think of my father,

the first memory that flings itself

to the forefront of my mind is

him reading to me as a child.

Bedtime birthed a world

the sun would’ve been jealous of.

I’d sit on his lap, admiring how hands

as rough as his could be so delicate,

How his coffee brown eyes could

shine so golden.

Our favorite book was

“Oh, The Places You’ll Go!”

We read it at least 100 times and

every time we would read, my dad

would talk about how horrible “The Waiting Place”

must’ve been.

“Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come,

or a plane to go or the mail to come,

or the rain to go or the phone to ring,

or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No

or waiting for their hair to grow."

Everyone was always waiting for something.

He always read in this calm and soothing voice,

as if he were an ocean

his words like waves washing over me,

sending me afloat on a sea of tranquility.

However, my most meaningful memories

are of my father telling me

that he loved me.

It’s not so much that he said it,

It was the way he said it.
He'd say,
"Son, you know I love you.
I'll always love you, because
you're my son, and no one
can ever take that away.
If anyone ever tells you that
I don't love you, they're a liar,
And a liar is one of the worst

people in this world."
It took me years to realize
how important that lesson was.
It took me even longer to realize that
I needed that nourishment.
I needed to know that if all else
fell through I'd still have him in
my corner.
So Dad, I would just like to
say "Thank you."
I've owed you this ode for far too long.
You are the brightest star the cosmos

have ever had the pleasure of holding
And I'm sorry that
it's taken 17 years for me
to appreciate you with the respect you deserve.
I want to apologize for the moments

that I’ve failed you,

like when you got out of surgery

and I didn’t even think to call

Or you missing my middle school graduation

because I thought my life would be better without you,

Or even the time I stole from you

to make myself feel cool.
I'm sorry that I've garnered your graces
and failed to return them
without a whisper of remorse. -
I'm sorry that
I've let my love linger behind locked lips,

I am sorry, that I only care to do something

when it’s beneficial for me.

Thank you for investing in me.
Thank you for your unwavering
support, for every shouted compliment

from the sideline,

for every concert appearance,

for every hour spent teaching me

the math you knew I’d need for high school.
Thank you for your love.
Even when I felt like God didn't love me

I knew you still did.

You are all the father I’ve ever needed
You were the first person to teach
me that love can be unconditional.
the first person

who modeled what is was to be a real man.

And as I grow to be strong as you,

I will be waiting,

waiting for days with clouds

and I never complain out loud.

For my mind to grow

and my intellect to show.

Waiting day and night,

I’ll always try to do what’s right

I will wait til the day when I hear

“You’ve got your father’s light.”

Because then I’ll know, in my heart

that I’ve done something right.