No one really knows me
I'm not sure what they see
But from the way they talk and look
I know they don't feel close to me
Don't they know they're all I have?
Do they think I have friends elsewhere?
Some tell me I am talented
But I don't speak to them every day
They don't see me 24/7
Or they have reason to be biased (family)
How ever could they know me?
Are they deluded by images of their own imaginations?
Do they kid themselves, dreaming that I have potential?
Please oh please
Be brutally honest with me
And let me choose to defend who I am
I wish to be clear on my own identity
But do others define who I am?
I am more than what you see
But to some extent, what you see is me
And the insults are what lie silent or
In hushed heated whispers I hardly hear
For the very same out-of-it reasons they whisper
Why should she lead?
Who does she think she is,
To not try?
I imagine their voices cutting the air
Disappointment blazes from sizzling tongues
Well maybe I'm just not cut out for this!
I try and I try; I've been here all along
Trying trying trying
Am I withdrawn; do I seem unapproachable?
Do people assume that I won't let them in?
Because I would!
I will! I'll let you in!
I do not wish to discriminate
Or hurt a single thing
The problem is I tend to be
A bit shy and afraid
Maybe worse than I used to be
I guess I've always been this way—
Only too loud when supposed to be silent
Just my awkward luck
Never an outward on-purpose troublemaker
I'm just getting lost in the muck
of my own worries, and
I want someone to talk to.
I just want to be happy
And help you be happy
And be some kind of joy
A good person
A fun person
friendly, warm, inviting...
But everything is just too close
People are poised to criticize
I see the insults waiting
It makes my stomach churn
So if I seem on ice
It's just, I'm afraid to get burned