She called upon me to aid her,

to stop the crying.  Her crying

is a marathon runner who can never reach the finish line.

I’m no savior, but I’m the only one

left to care.

 

The chair shakes as I take her place beside the crib.

She rolls out the cricks, stands, and walks past him

unseeing.  I feel the love mingled in

with the  hate, I know there’s no turning back.

The father’s absence is as obvious as the

baby’s resemblance. 

 

He feels the distance,

the seven seas he would have to cross to reach

her heart.

He whimpers for her,

the warmth of her body when she clutches him.

He won’t let me hold him.

He’ll squirm and squeal until I put him back in the crib,

or until lay him down next to the carcass that is his mother.

 

My body is barren and dry.

He’s the closest I can come to having a child of my own.

I hold him tenderly against my heart and

listen to the soft whisper that is his breath.

 

I can’t leave him here.

His heart will rot and hollow until it finally

surrenders itself to hatred and cruelty.

 

Ever since I came she’s stopped.

Moving, living, loving.

She said she’s going to run away,

but you can’t run from trouble.

 

She blindly packs her suitcase,

causing a rainbow of eruptions from her drawers.

She doesn’t say goodbye.

My heart hurts.

It won’t stop,

no rest, no break, no pause.

Then,

It’s silent.

 

Thunder follows her out the door

shaking the floor and disrupting the silence.

She doesn’t look back

she doesn’t see me

she doesn’t care.

My love for her is real,

it’s enough to fill the absence of  her,

but it’s not enough for him.

Day goes to night and night to day,

she’s gone for real this time

I can feel it.

Love lost is love found again,

at the end of the rainbow lies my beloved,

I love until she’s lost and I love her until she is found again.