New Year's Resolve

I cannot leave.

There are chains,

I think.

My hands are bound behind my back.

 

Realization flips on completely,

But it does nothing to hinder the chains.



Resolve flickers off.

It gives no sign of when it will return.

 

Reflection continues at full power,

Patting my head as it pulls at the knots in my hair.

 

Experience puffs its chest out at me.

My wobbly legs step back without order,

But it won’t take no for an answer.

It finds a way.

 

I am afraid to leave.

There are chains,

I think.

My hands are gripping at something I can just barely sense surrounding me.

 

Days turn into nights,

And nights refuse to end.

Lullabies drift into my greedy ears,

But they only fuel the never-ending daydreams my mind has become addicted to.

 

Resolve turns in its march to eye my sturdy stance and powerful gaze.

It doesn’t stop.

It sees right through me.

It continues to evade my deceitful appearance.

 

Trembling limbs crumble

As tired eyes tighten.

 

Reflection and Realization take turns

Caressing the wounds I’ve dealt myself

And pummeling me with the teachings of a disappointed parent’s waggling finger.

I obediently take what Experience has concocted.

 

I have to leave.

There are chains,

I think.

My hands claw at the invisible force I had begun weaving into a counterfeit Resolve many years ago.

 

Resolve turns in its march to eye my anxious stance and teary gaze.

It stops.

It sees me.

It bestows me with a proposition.

 

Trembling limbs tighten in anticipation

As tired eyes widen.

 

The new year is born,

And with it is a new Resolve.

Reflection and Realization poke and prod at it

While Experience prepares me to open it.

This poem is about: 
Me

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