These feelings consume my bones, as a distant depression arose, those feelings of freedom and destiny are dethroned. I would not have been happy, but would I have meaning?

What is the meaning if the light that was sparkling and beaming is gone from my leaving? I am suffering, I am grieving, but at the same time I am free, and I am believing, that thing will be good.

As they should with no worries to hood why would I not gather the wood from this place. My privilege is leverage to the top, I am aware it is unfair, but I cannot just stop, the injustice in the trees with leaves of gold.

So cold among a world apparently apathetic to the struggles of a single male amidst a struggling society, I can only continue my sobriety, not of liquor and wine, but of the ignorance, the stigmatism of race and status, how can I combat this when I was given all the cards?

I did not ask for the cards, or any awards, outside of the right to a dorm. A safe place to sleep out of the cold, this world was made for the bold, to construct what trust, what they must, what can we trust?

In God we trust? Some say this is a bust. But I know that the Spirit is with us, with me and the key to constructing something greater than ourselves, to get out of this hell, to rebel against these monsters in society, for Christ is the key to my sobriety, not of liquor and wines, but the key to mercy, grace, to embrace the failures of some and the hopelessness of others as not the final story, we fight for the Glory that is our Lord, creator of heaven and earth.

This is the birth, the start if you will. We need something stronger than our will; some cannot stomach this pill. That we are not in charge, that there is an all-knowing King at large. Strongholds they make, lives from eternity they take.

Yeah some “Christians” are fake, but that should not determine your fate. Too much is at stake, and if I am wrong than my worst crime is singing a song, of love and mercy and grace, elevating this place of hate and blame and fear, what is it to being evil that people hold so dear?

The greed and selfishness of others will try to win, strongholds of ignorance and sin. No one should be hassled, so why are so many outsiders throwing rocks at our castles? They seek to disprove the truth, for their own self conscience and the root of their fears and insecurities, it is natural, they are only human beings.

They must defend themselves and we feel the need to defend the faith, but we should not with malice agate but again with mercy and grace. We run the race, we should work not to disgrace, but to open wide the gates that are narrow to narrower minds, souls and hearts left behind, by a world cruel and filled with madness and sadness that crashes our hope agas.

This are my thoughts and feelings unfolded, from inside to the outside world that have molded, my status here on earth. This is the birth of self-worth. Through the mire and mirth that traps me inside of my head, inside of my heart and inside of my bed.