My Little Monster

Wed, 06/26/2019 - 22:40 -- ivey

I felt a monster climb its way up my throat

Choking on tears, I watched my hands tremble

My breath shortened & I felt powerless

I dry gagged & finally heaved

"The monster won," I'd quote.


I was seven years old

Trapped in my own bubble

Timid and lost in the maze of my soul

Trying to process the situations that passed me

Looking back, I'd rewrite the way the story was retold


I often had overwhelming episodes when I was little

I smiled often

Had fun with friends

But the monster was always lurking behind

It manipulated me because it knew I was brittle


The catch here is that I didn't know it existed

Not until I was much older

Now, that monster stole-

         my dignity

                       my strength

        my pride

                                     my childhood



The monster grew up with me


But it doesn't like when you talk about it


So I didn't talk about it


Not until it made a home in my heart


It became a part of me


I want to rewrite the confusion I faced as a child

For I have danced with the monster

I have yelled at the monster

And it's kept me hiding from friends


I realized I was grown up in this moment

I know the monster's name

This poem is a mess

The monster has possessed me to be this way

I want to tell little me

It's okay...

One day you'll grow up & learn

The monster's name is-








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