When you first heard the words

Angst poem

I really hope you did not have great expectations

And if you did…

Let me crush them now

It’s hard to think of a depressing story about your life

When you are a middle class white girl

Who lives in Nebraska

The most prejudice I’ve ever had directed at me was the question

“So do you like ride your horse to school?”

Instead I think I should write a poem

About something simultaneously

Hilarious and horribly depressing

Otherwise known as my love life

I like to think that I don’t get asked out

Because the people at my school are intimidated

By my massive intellect, my grandiose vocabulary

But then I remember that I’m failing Pre-Calculus

So I know that’s not true

I would like to believe

That I’ve never had a date to a dance

Because my hips don’t lie

But then I remember that they are also boney, angular, and generally look like they could stab you to death

So I dance in dark corners

I need to think that boys don’t stop and talk to me in the hallway

Because they’re so enraptured by the way I strut

But then I trip over my feet

Again

So I store that hypothesis away for later

I should think that true beauty lies on the inside

But then I remember that I go to high school

And I am just as shallow as everyone else

So I will continue judging you silently

I could think that I slouch because I’m trying to inadvertently communicate

That I am a vulnerable and shy girl

But then I remember how heavy my backpack is

So I try to stand a little straighter in public

I may think that the reason I don’t have more friends

Is the absurd amount of time I spend on the internet

But

Actually that one is probably true

I occasionally think I may be good at sports

But then I remember soccer, basketball, dance, softball, volleyball, gymnastics, and how I get winded just running up the 13 stairs in my house

So I think it’s probably a good thing I like poetry so much

I really don’t want to come off as seeming pretentious

But then I remember that my normal facial expression looks something like this

So I’m afraid I’ve already scared everyone away

I want to believe that all of you poets are secretly yearning

For my number

But then I remember that this poem sounds like it’s full of self-doubt

And let’s be honest

That’s no way to make a first impression

Even though I’m failing Pre-Calculus

I just scored 100 out of 88 points on an English quiz

My massive intellect is intimidating

I’ve never been asked to a dance

Because I have the moves like Jagger

And no one can get over it

Since I’m so clumsy

I’m kind of hoping you will fall for me as hard as I fell for you

Whenever I’m feeling invisible

I like to think of how hot I will be at my high school reunion

How news of my success will have reached everyone

And they will regret not thinking about me more

suddenly I feel a lot better

I slouch a lot

And that only makes me that much more terrifying when you’ve angered me to the point that I straighten up

Even though I suck at sports

If you see me glaring at you and writing furiously in a notebook

You should probably run

Because writers,we’re tired of being told that we’re not good enough

We’re tired of wondering if we’re actually not good enough

Because we are more than good enough

Every single one of us