I remember the night that I ruined my life.
Later I longed for the pills or a knife
It was only an hour, actually two
I gave up myself and gave life to you
The moment was breathless and body ruled mind,
Searching for something I still did not find
Looking for love, I found coldness instead
Lost in the darkness and losing my head
That night was a secret, to never be told
But not one month later my soul grew so cold.
I was sick every morning and sick every night
Alone once again, and none held me tight
I was a coward, so young and afraid
I could not face, what my choices had made
Shattered I was, and still my heart breaks
Selfish and frightened I ran from mistakes
A fire inside me, I doused out the flame
Forever to live with the guilt and the shame
I thought it'd be easy, a hinderance gone,
But in deepest of deeps I knew this was wrong
However, I killed you, I murdered my soul,
They ripped you to pieces, and shredded you whole
The beat of your heart, I never shall hear
Because of my greed and because of my fear
How could I slaughter a piece of my heart?
The blood on my hands, well it tears me apart
How can I ever start my life anew?
I just long to whisper, just once: I love you.