Mirror

I've been staring at the same mirror for too long
Staring at the same mirror analyzing the same flaws
Ripping myself apart, breaking myself daily
I been hating everything, hating this life they gave me
I've been drowning in my doubts and nobody knows
I've been wanting to tell someone, but you know how that goes
Smiling like life's okay and i'm glad to be here
Smiling like i'm strong when i'm floating on fear
This mirror been nothing but hell to me
Staring at myself, it's all pain i see
I wonder if it's cuz I don't pray
Prayer helps everything is what my moms say
I wish I could talk to God, like hold a conversation
I wish every time something happened, he would give me an explanation
I wish he would tell me that i'm good and that I should overcome these doubts
I wish he would reply to me every time I shout
Even if you not replying, I hope I pull through
God, I hope I don't disappoint you
Dear God, I hope I wasn't a mistake
Please God, pull me out this lake
I've been drowning in these doubts for a long period of time
And seems like the only way i'm starting to swim out is through each rhyme
Words help, So I thank you for this gift to write
So I guess you do hear me, but it's been so dark i been avoiding your light
Idk God, I know there's people better then me
I know theres people doing the things you'd rather see
But God, I just wanna love this life I live
Because God, I've got so much to give
I just don't feel like I'm normal, you know what I mean?
I just feel like i'm meant for something, like I'm meant to be heard and seen
I could go on and tell you how I feel, but you already know
Dear God, I'm sorry if i'm not what you expect, but please God, don't let me fall too low~Mona

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