Dear Mind,

you and I?

We've never agreed.

For years and years

you've pulled the same shit,

made the same mistakes,

and I'm here to say

that I think I'm through.

I lay out facts

made from calm observation

but you just throw them down

right on the floor

screeching, "It's not true! It's not true!"

"They lie, they lie!" you always accuse.

 

And I fell for that

for years.

Time and again I fell

for your panic,

for your pantshitting fear,

and I lashed out

at friends and family

that I see as foes

because you tell me so.

When really?

We're our worst enemy.

 

Oh,

you lie about that too.

"We're fine, we're lovely.

Yeah, we're a kid still

at fucking 25

but that's ok!

They love us, they adore us

and they always will

whatever we do.

So why even bother?

Why even try with something so hard

as growing up?"

you whisper and lie,

and I fall for it every time

because I want for it to be true.

 

I'm writing this to you though

to declare that I'm through.

I'm done with your lies

about my friends and me.

I'll be going to school

and therapy too.

I'll be ignoring your advice

which was never any good.

We'll be separating,

you and I.

It's not a question or a debate.

It might take a year

or ten

or even my whole life

but I'm not yours,

not anymore.

 

Dear Mind,

you and I?

We've never agreed

and I'm gonna be

finally free.

 

- Samantha Luquin