The Meaning of my Mentality

   Beware, beware, be skeptical,

of their smiles, their smiles of plated gold,

Deceit so natural,

But a wolf in sheep's clothing is more than a warning.

“Baa-baa-black sheep, have you any soul?”

“No sir, by the way, what the heck are morals?”

They send me away to find them a fortune,

A chest filled with diamonds and gold.

Talk to myself, lie in the darkness so content.

So play with fire.

Fire, fire.

 

Taking my sulking to the masses,

Writing my poems for the few,

Hot blood these veins my pleasure is their pain,

I love to watch the castles burn.

Oh, Watching as the flames get higher,

Oh, I've always liked to play with...

 

You put a sour little flavor in my mouth now

You move in circles hoping no one's gonna find out

But we're so lucky,

 

Kiss the ring and let 'em bow down

Looking for the time of your life

Right of passage classic maverick,

Match in the gas tank oh that's wretched,

Unstoppable legendary animals.

 

Hail to the king and queen of the ruckus.

No denying the ones,

That look at me, took to me, shook to me, feeling me,

Insane, inside the danger gets me high,

Can't help myself got secrets I can't tell,

That grabbed my hand, pushed me down.

 

So Jack, be lethal, Jack, be slick,

Jill will leave you lonely dying in a filthy ditch.

So beware…

The house was awake

With shadows and monsters

The hallways they echoed and groaned

Take my message from the veins,

speak my lesson from the brain.

 

"You can't wake up, this is not a dream

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

With your face all made up, living on a screen

Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline"

I think there’s a flaw in my code.

Kids forever, kids forever,

Baby soft skin turns into leather.

Don't be dramatic it's only some plastic,

No one will love you if you're unattractive.

 

I sat alone, in bed 'til the morning

I'm crying, "They're coming for me."

And I tried to hold these secrets inside me

My mind's like a deadly disease

Can anybody hear me?

Am I hidden underground?

Saying, "Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it."

Am I talking to myself?

"Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it."

 

My filthy pride,

a senseless beating,

Took the words right out my mouth,

I'm well acquainted,

With villains that live in my bed,

They beg me to write them,

So they'll never die when I'm dead.

 

And I've grown familiar,

With villains that live in my head,

They beg me to write them,

So I'll never die when I'm dead.

Champagne, cocaine, gasoline

And most things in between

I roam the city in a shopping cart

 

Found another victim

But no one's gonna find Miss Jackson,

 

Crippled and barely breathing.

You made me a, you made me a believer.

Oh let the bullets fly, oh let them rain,

My life, my love, my drive, it came from…

I get confused on why we always part so violently.

I've always liked to play with fire.

Play with fire.

 

I've always liked to play with fire.

This is what happens when I show you my demons,

Repeating the cycle that turns love into indifference.

When I chase after affection, it won't chase after me,

So I simply won't.

 

Darling, you're just soaking in it

But I know you'll get out the minute

You notice all your fingers pruning up

I'm tired of being careful, gentle, trying to keep the water warm

Let me under your skin

I paced around for hours on empty

I jumped at the slightest of sounds

And I couldn't stand the person inside me

 

Oh Mrs. Potato Head tell me,

Is it true that pain is beauty?

Does a new face come with a warranty?

Will a pretty face make it better?

Even if her face don't stay together.

 

Oh Mr. Potato Head tell me,

How did you afford her surgery?

Do you swear you'll stay forever,

Even if her face don't stay together.

 

I turned all the mirrors around

Ooh-ooh, honey, do you want me now?

Climbing out the back door, didn't leave a mark

No one knows it's you, Miss Jackson

Next time you're alone,

Think twice when you grab the phone.

Can't take it anymore, need to put you to bed

Sing you a lullaby where you die at the end...

 

“Hush, little baby,

Drink your spoiled milk.

I'm freaking crazy,

Need my prescription filled.

Do you like my cookies?

They're made just for you.

A little bit of sugar,

But lots of poison, too

I ride the edge my speed goes in the red

These golden ashes turn to dirt

Ashes, ashes, time to go down,

Ooh-ooh, honey, do you want me now?

Can't take it anymore, need to put you to bed”

 

Can't you see?

I only want the ones who never see me,

"Please stop, you're scaring me."

I can't help this awful energy.

Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me?

Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?

Saying, "If you go on you might pass out in a drain pipe."

Oh yeah, don't threaten me with a good time

I love the smell of gasoline,

I light the match to taste the heat,

I'm bigger than my body,

I'm colder than this home,

I'm meaner than my demons,

I'm bigger than these bones,

But I'm happy.

I'm stuck self-torturing; my meds are failing me.

Internal clock in smithereens.

Can't fix this, I'm hopeless

I love playing these games until my heart bleeds,

It bleeds jelly.

 

Notice my hands begin to twitch.

Unprovoked assaulting of my conscious wit.

Me and the TV are enemies.

Sickening static surrounds my mind.

I'm losing time, and realizing that

After days of thought that I'm...

Attention:

All insomniacs, please raise your right hand.

And kindly, repeat after me.

"I guess I'll sleep when I am dead!"

 

Are you high enough without the Mary Jane like me?

Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?

Do the people whisper ‘bout you on the train like me?

Saying that "you shouldn't waste your pretty face" like me?

My eyes are stapled open wide,

As I lay down on my side.

I am bouncing off these walls.

 

And the truth we pursue as we all,

we all beg you to,

Kill the lights, kill the actor, kill the actress.

Don't even think about it.

Digital justice,

You shoulda seen what I wore,

I had a cane and a party hat.

I was the Queen of this hologram.

Where there's no such thing as getting out of hand.

Memories tend to just pop up,

Drunk pre-meds and some rubber gloves.

As the sun begins to rise, I can barely shut my eyes.

This crazed, delirious mess; laughing at everything I see.

My sanity is spent. Just tell me where my time went.

I'm losing it.

 

Now you're gonna know us

Don't even think about it, no.

My eyes are stapled open wide,

As I lay down on my side.

I am bouncing off these walls.

As I focus on the clock,

Time stands still, but I cannot.

I should strap myself in bed.

I guess I'll sleep when I am dead.

We're begging you,

To kill the lights, kill the actor, kill the actress,

Or kill us all.

Uh-oh, there it goes, I said too much, it overflowed,

Why do I always spill?

 

I feel it coming out my throat,

God, I wish I never spoke.

Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap.

God, I wish I'd never spoke,

Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap.

Just to pour that  down the drain like me?

Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?

Think I just remembered something,

I think I left the faucet running,

Now my words are filling up the tub.

 

'Cause I'm stuck self-torturing; my meds are failing me.

Internal clock in smithereens.

Can't fix this, I'm hopeless.

My eyes are stapled open wide,

As I lay down on my side.

I am bouncing off these walls.

As I focus on the clock,

Time stands still, but I cannot.

I should strap myself in bed.

I guess I'll sleep when I am dead.

 

No liquor left on the shelf,

I should probably introduce myself.

These voices won’t leave me alone,

Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold.

Think I got myself in trouble,

So I fill the bath with bubbles,

Then I'll put the towels all away.

I guess I'll sleep when I am...

Are you going to ask?

Who is in control?

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
Guide that inspired this poem: 
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

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