Lust Or Love

The way you look into my eyes shows your hunger.

You don’t want me.

You want my body.

When I see you my brain activates fight or flight.

My pupils dilate and my heartbeat quickens but I can’t tell if it’s because of my desires or my fear.

My fear is telling me that you’re bad news.

My head is saying, “girl, you need to run!”

But, my heart begs for you to notice.

Notice me….

Notice me and not the way my jeans hug my waist or the cleavage my shirt exposes.

Notice the fact that I laugh at every one of you lame jokes.

Every feature of your face is burned into my memories.

The way your face looks in the light,

The light being the place where you hide who you really are,

But the face engraved into my mind, the face that haunts my dreams,

Is the one covered by shadows.

Even in the darkness, your smirk pierces my heart and reveals the pleasure you feel.

This is the pleasure you get when it’s just me and you in a dark room,

As you touch me, I feel like there’s more than your greedy lust,

That the feelings that weigh me down are shared between our quivering bodies.

But, when the lights come back on, your smirk is gone.

You don’t look in my general direction...

You’ve stopped answering my texts…

I don’t feel lustful towards you.

I want you and I fear you.

I fear your desires won’t be met.

I fear if I say no you may take them by force.

I want you to notice me in a way that doesn’t make me cringe.

When I sit alone and think about what I let you do….

What I gave you instead of waiting….

It kills me…

You took my firsts but you also took my heart.


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