Look at Me

Look at me. 

I'm standing here...waiting. I've been standing here.
For a while now actually. 

Oh now you noticed me. Stop it!

Stop looking at me!

 

Talking in front of people makes me nervous.
Suddenly each person becomes a monster in my head
who will eat me if I talk to them. 
During a presentation my face gets red. 
Just flushed completely tomato red. 
I start my sentence...

...Hi. My presentation is on...uhm...

...and it slips away. 

And I'm left there just standing. Mouth open. 

Happens with friends too. 
A group of 10 or so. Just laughing. 

Say something! C'mon say something!
They're just my friends. 
I say something...
...and I sound stupid. 
Someone asks me a question and I'm on the spot. 

"Hey what's your idea for the project?"
Oh I was...thinking...yeah thinking is good...

I answer and give the most ridiculous response in the world. 
Just so simple minded. 

But it doesn't sound that way in my head I swear!

But it's so comfortable to hide. 
To hide under a hoodie and keep walking past. 

Always being alone is tiring though. 
I want to escape it. To not be afraid.
To not be afriad to talk for more than half a sentence. 
I've never had stage fright, so why can't life be a stage?

But I'll keep standing here.
Waiting for a moment to talk. 
And speak half my thought. 
Maybe. 

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