Today. Today I question myself

Who is in my life?

Who cares? and Who holds me back?

The answer awaits

 

 

You see, for me to ask that

I would need to understand myself

What do I want?

Who do I need?

What will make me happy?

 

All of these questions are answered

By my inner demons

They tell me yes and no

They decided what makes me happy

 

My inner demons fight with me

But we also agree

My inner demons set me free

My everything else holds me back

 

You know that red is my favorite color?

It represents passion

It represents emotion

Love. Hate. Anger. Blood. Fight. 

 

If I were the color red

You would all by grey

Dark, Light, and medium

See greys have a way of making things dull

My view was becoming dark and hazy

 

All the grey started to block me

From the things I have dreamed of

What I want to be

From my true self

 

It wasn’t their fault

It was mine

But here I was

Questioning myself

 

I was born bright red

Ready for all the passion and emotion

Then the grey changed me

They dulled my color

They molded me

 

Will I ever be vibrant red again?

Will I ever shine like I could have?

My inner demons keep yelling at me

My view becomes darker and darker

 

 

Tell me… 

What do I do?

You all are grey

You decide my future

 

Are you going to let me go?

Will you let me be bright again?

Will you set me and my demons free?

 

I have loved you all

I always will

But can I love myself?

I’ve never tried

I was too busy taking care of you

 

I’d like to give myself a chance

A chance to be bright red

So this is a letter

To all of those who hold me back

Please set me free

 

Relieve the weight from my back

I am not Atlas

I am just the color red.