Your lips are mouthing words, and I know you’re pleading

The same lips that filled my dreams and lifted my spirit

Filled with the same breath and voice that I planned to follow the rest of my life

At this moment I’m living in the past

In the moments I fought against the pain that I know will soon fill my heart

Feeling again the same strain I used to let go of that battle and fall into you

Believing every word you uttered

The same words strung into another order now

Not a statement of love but as an excuse

A protection against the tragedy you brought to us

Your head in my hands, sobbing

My inability to comprehend the situation acting as the only stability between us

There awaits no consolation for me, just acceptance that this is my day’s reality

We never expected to be tainted by the unclean world around us

Women with experience and wisdom will only tell me this is normal

That I will get used to it

The idea that someday I too will find this the norm is more hurtful than anything

I do not have the energy to fight or react; motionless I let you hold me

Undeservingly

You were my last constant in my transitioning world

From childhood to lonely adulthood

My life vest in the turmoil of these waters

It seems however that your devotion, your love was my delusion

Your callused hands held by someone else, your body loved by another

In this moment I am in the past

Watching myself let go of my reservations and fear

You’re sobbing into me, regretting the loss of me

You did not lose me

You left me