King of My Soul

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Grandpa,

 

Is that you?

No, the wind is just angry.

Grandpa, yesterday I thought about you.

I remember the walk we took one night. 

I ran back to get your cane, but you insisted you’d make it.

Hardly, your limp didn’t help. 

When you arrived your feet were bulging and your veins,

purple, from the swelling.

Can I take the pain away?

Oh God, 

I am a worthless child. 

I blame them, 

what a fucking shame. 

 

I remember walking into that cold clinic, filled out all your paperwork. 

Doctors gave you pills and tossed out the old ones. 

Hey Doc, are you going to do something?

His body is withering in the desert he knows 

as home. Do not be offended by our skin and take us 

as human beings. 

Do not set the divide between the venerable and

the great. 

Are you going to just stand there?

While he follows behind my papa.

Don’t take him I beg you! 

I should not be angry, 

but where are your angels when mine are only raging inside

me?

 

Faith cries from the stream, drowning in rocks. 

Daughter from the depths of your eyes.

I’ll show you 

I am not a disgrace. I’ll show you.

Leave your mark in this footprint. 

I blame them...

for never giving you the chance to see. 

 

 

I'd abandon everything to see your clear, gray eyes. 

Clouded with the castles, built for you.

By your children, where you rule as King.  

 

The beating of your heart is the youth of my soul. But,  

Grandpa, you don’t remember my name, anymore. 

 

I blamed them?

Constantly believing in misery. I searched for her.

She left me lying on the floor. The wicked inside me,

was all I knew.

The flux of the war fuels the fire in my brain.

Soldiers bleed their insides out and gasp for air. 

While no one sees the dark angel. 

Take me away from this demise!

 

Lord, your timing is off

rule this once maybe twice, but I am not missing the 

point. 

Find me the reason to be in the space above.

No need for more satellites, or stars.

Headlights are blinding enough, but I do not sleep nor

daydream.

The assailant of the night only haunts me, masking himself

in red paint. 

For he, is not welcomed here,

anymore. 

 

-M.J.

 

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