Jesus

To the boy I fell in love with in my high school years
You where my everything someone I fell for hard
Someone I gave up half my life for
I went threw hell to keep you by my side
On and off for so many years
I left good people to always go back to you
You where always in my mind
Every day to every second
You consumed my entire life
It was as if you were a drug I could not quit
I tried and tried but couldn't get enough
I was clean for 2 years till you showed up at my door
And I fell once more
But this time was different
Over and over I told myself I was done
But this time it was different
It was as if you where giving me my heart back
You did the same things over and over
I knew what was coming
I knew I was going to get hurt
I did cry for 2 days after you left
I wasn't going to go back to my old ways
So I took time for me
I was getting happy
Then you texted ...
One final meet to get my things back
I went crazy for the rest of the day
Shaking hands and feeling dizzy
What would happen when I saw you again..
The time has come I went to see you
I pulled up made sure there was a car between us
You stepped out of the car ..
I got out of mine you walked over I said hey thanks for my stuff
You went straight to my car to put my things in my car
I was confused
I didn't expect you to go near me or my car
I thought you would give me my things and leave
But you held the door open
You wanted to talk
I kept my distance
You kept coming close
I didn't understand
You left me
You wanted nothing to do with me
Why are you stalling?
Let me go home
You gave me a hug it was time to say goodbye
You gave me a kiss...
I hate how you can get away with anything
I let you get away with anything
You took my hand and went to your car
It was a nice moment till you opened your mouth
You said you wouldn't sleep with me because you didn't know where I had been
I wanted to slap you
But instead I cried
I said I didn't sleep around I took time for me
You didn't believe me
I was so upset
Your the one who kissed me
Your the one who brought me to your car...
I stepped out
I went to my car told you to txt me if you needed me
And you did we talked and met up on our spot
We messed around but still no sex
We talked more and agreed to just mess around
No feelings not letting each other get attached
You said you still cared about me
And loved me
But when you said that I didn't feel anything
I smiled gave you a kiss and went home
A few days had passed
We finally had a chance to make love
You came to my house and we had our fun
We went on with our lives
A week later I got off work late
I asked if you were at your job
You said yes
I went to visit you
I asked for my free coffee
And I stayed to talked
We finally had a serious conversation
And I felt free
I gave you a kiss
Got my coffee
And told you if I had ever met someone I would let you know
I want to keep our fun going no strings
But I wasn't going to keep running back
I finally was free from your spell
My heart was back in my hands
You no longer had it
Seven years
And I'm finally free
Jesus the man I feel for so hard
Thank you for everything
The ups and downs
I finally understand what I want in life
Jesus
I love and always will love you
The last thing I will say is your name
Jesus...

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