It's not you It's Me

I had an idea of you in my mind.

I thought I could change you. 

I thought I could be the person you needed. 

I was mistaken.


You said that you liked me.

You kept me around as a backup.

Whenever you held on to me,

Whenever you gazed at my figure, 

Once or twice you mentioned that you liked that my arms were small

Looking back, 

I realize that meant that you liked that I was weak.

I wasn't easy.

I was honest.

I was hurt.

I thought I could keep you if I gave you myself.

I was mistaken. 


You gladly accepted my pain.

You left.

You dropped me,

Like a penny that no one picks up because it's heads down and bad luck

You found someone else, a few days later.

I cried, 

Over you...It was pointless. 

I didn't deserve you. 

I didn't deserve how you made me feel like shit.

I didn't deserve how I wasn't happy.

I didn't deserve how I felt lonely with you, but told myself it was normal.

I didn't deserve to be second, third, forth on your list.

I didn't deserve how you made me feel worthless, and stupid, an unwanted.

I forgave you. 

You didn't, no you don't, scratch that you never will deserve me.


I found someone.

I don't have to compete for his attention.

I don't have to pretend.

I don't feel lonely.

I feel smart.

I feel beautiful.

He likes that I am strong.

My physical strengh, my mental strength

He knows about you. I told him, about my past.

He hates you. 


He knows that I am worth fighting for. 

He knows that I am first.  

He wants me to be happy, and it kills him inside if i'm not. 

He doesn't want to change me. 

He is himself around me. 

I don't want to change him. 

We change together. 


Once or twice he mentioned that he wanted to give me the world.

I told him that I don't need the world, just him. And I already have that. 


I grew.

I became more independent because of you.

But even though I am independent, 

I still have his shoulder whenever I cry.

Even though I am strong,

I still have him to push me harder so that I am better.


What I don't have,

What I don't you. 

And I am grateful for that. 

So grateful. I don't think you understand how happy I am.

Because I have him. 


We are two moons that guard one planet.

Two separate entities that combined as one. 

We are honest...with each other

We are each other

We support one another. 

We understand one another.


We have our ups and downs.

But I don't hurt, 

Instead I smile when we argue, because HE is the only one, 

That I want to argue with.  


I love him. 



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