it feels as if my night was centered around boys

It feels as if my night was centered around boys

I.                   

The Heartbreaker

grinding on her

the way her hands grabbed at his hips to bring him

                                                            ever closer

            the lascivious smile that

                        took over his face

            and me standing against the wall and then

dancing with

 

II.                

               The Boner

grinding on me

            shirtless

                        but all I could

think about is that

                        lascivious grin

that we shared with one another

and how I

            just wished that

                        pretended that

                                    it was his body behind mine.

III.              

The Brace-Face

slow dancing with me

            a respectable distance away

            being kind

                        until after the Smirnoff

                        and then the panty-dropper

he led me away

            didn’t wait for me to   

                                                            agree.

IV.              

The Hawaiian

rubbing my back

stroking my hair

giving me his Blue Cherry Gatorade

            as I apologized

                        and mentioned how guilty I felt

and then discussing our ethnicities

            a balm to my distress.

 

V.                 

The Heartbreaker (II)

threatening to “fight a nigga”

            in my honor

but he couldn’t even walk

because of the

            alcohol.

 

VI.

 

 

 

 

                                 The Philosopher

                      asking me about poetry

while I was sobering

            he reached forward from the

                                    back seat

and rearranged a strand of hair

            philosophizing about

                        frames of reference.

 

                         VII.

The Puerto Rican

speaking to me as an equal

            not an object

                        before all the drama

            before the shame.

                         

                        VIII.

The Heartbreaker (III)

who always treats me as an equal

            and has never disrespected me

who has led me to a strange place       

            in this life that I

                        never

                                    anticipated.

 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741