Inside

In a snap, the mind can have an intense internal battle

The one you could see if only you looked hard enough

You stand by as others aim to push and rattle

You can’t see the pain because it’s the mind and not the skin that’s bruised and rough

 

I walk down the school halls, beside my saving grace

And I know she will always be there for me, no matter what

We’ve gone through everything together, and gone every place

Our type of bond is one that could never be cut

She helps me with my roller coaster life

Mending my broken seams, no matter the weather

And I mend her, when she’s at the knife

Lifting her up, and giving her my wings of feather

She’s always there to save me, catching me to stop my fall

Even as others whisper and give judgemental stares,

She builds shields so I can never see them all

She’s absolutely perfect, and gives every care

Loving me like a sister, never apart

She wants me even though I’m an imperfect soul

Holding together the broken pieces of my heart

Even as I feel I’m losing control

 

I walk down the school halls, radiating happiness and joy

But little do I know how fast that can go away

That small comment may not have been meant to destroy

But her words tell more than what she made them say

“She’s so annoying and crazy” she tells her friend

“It’s bad to be yourself” is all I hear

“She’s so sensitive, what a baby” she’d text and send

“Hide your true emotions” reaches my ear

Why would she say those things?

I thought we’d always be together

Or were those my imaginings?

I no longer have my shield to protect me forever

I’ve been slowly falling for years, and she’s started the final reaction

I’m falling further and further down the rabbit hole

No one’s even trying to give me a helpful action

My anxiety has intensified and taken bits of my soul

 

There’s a tornado in my brain, constantly swirling with thoughts

Did she mean what she said about how I’m too sensitive?

I mean, she’s my best friend, so why would she lie?

Everyone else has been saying things too, and it’s always negative

I’m just so stupidly emotional why won’t it just stop? Why, Why, Why?

How could she do this to me? I thought I could trust her

Yet she’s the one doing the most damage to my brain

She pretends it doesn’t exist, since that’s what she’d prefer

But how could she not see me grimacing with pain

 

There’s a tornado in my brain, constantly swirling with thoughts

I’ve been struggling for years, and hearing it from her was the final touch

She’s broken our bond, with our unbreakable ties

Tearing through our connection I loved so much

And the tears slowly flow from my traitor reflecting eyes.

She was my rock, the one I could always count on

Why would she say that about me? Am I really that bad?

I’m falling farther and farther, with no one to lean upon

Where’s that wonderful friend I once had?

 

There’s a tornado in my brain, constantly swirling with thoughts

I don’t care anymore! Just don’t care!

They’re forcing me to live the rest of my life alone

I’ve been left in the winds as I suffer wear and tear

Floating and falling through the feared and unknown

No one could love me, even if I changed who I am

I’ve tried so hard, but I could never fit in with them

What else could I possibly do? I’ve tried every plan

I’ve changed the way I talk and ignored their efforts to condemn

But nothing I do ever seems to be working!

All they do is hate me as I’m trying to be accepted,

Hate me, as I sit at a lunch table to cry alone, cowering,

Hate me, as I hope and pray for the day I’m respected

I depended on her support to keep me afloat

She was the only one who I thought would want me

Yet when she found me at my weakest point, she turned and cut my throat

She was the only one who made me want to stay here, to live and be

 

There’s a tornado in my brain, constantly swirling with thoughts

She’s sided with them, and I’ve never felt more alone

If my light happened to go out tomorrow, I bet you wouldn’t even notice

It’s time for me to leave you, to go out to the great unknown

Maybe in heaven I’ll finally find someone who would actually love this

 

This poem is about: 
My community

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