Calling a quits with this game doesn't make you weak

We live to die right?

So why is it when someone moves out before their eviction notice they are frowned upon?

God should be the only one shaking his head bc the one he created destroyed them self and the plans he had for them

Instead everyones telling you how it's going to be okay but they haven't lived a day in your shoes

If you tried on my shoes they wouldn't fit

You couldn't bear the weight being on your shoulders and every time you think you've freed yourself from those chains life crashes again

No matter how hard you try to succeed there's a voice always in your head bringing you down

Imagine having your family put you down when you need them the most

See some of you have supportive families but imagine being me

Just when all I want is my families approval they tell me "you can't do it" 

Who's going to support you if not your family first?

They'll wish they supported me when it's too late and i'm in the back of a hearse

Even when everyone is cheering me on it means nothing when the people you want approval from the most don't believe in you

Hell, I don't believe in myself

Who's to encourage me when I look in the mirror and I see failure

I wake up and only see every time I failed

Out of all the beauty I see the flaws

My mirror displays all the pain and hurt I went through 

Instead of seeing who god made me I see the pain that I allow to define me

Imagine going to sleep not caring if you wake up

Imagine never looking forward to anything

Everything you looked forward to  doesn't matter anymore

Imagine waking up depressed because you have to play this game of life again

Suicide isn't a sudden decision

It's an on going process 

It's having a wonderful day but going to your room realizing you still hate your life

Turning to self hurt

Becoming a masochist  

It's so deep that you could burn yourself with a lighter and still feel nothing

YOU'RE DEAD

..but you're living 

It's cutting your skin so deep you're barely missing veins

It's watching the blood drip and feeling relieved 

It's sick ..

It's feeling temporary happiness but wishing you were alone so you could hurt yourself to feel that high again

It becomes a way of life

An addiction

All because you didn't love yourself

People are calling you weak but imagine if every morning you woke up angry because you survived

Imagine every night hurting yourself just to feel good

Imagine knowing you don't want to live anymore but still continuing out your day because if you cancelled your lease in this game people would be hurt

Imagine having the key to ending your life that you hate but you're still not putting that key in the door and walking to the darkness

Imagine the strength that I have for staying on this earth every day when I've come so close to ending my life 

Imagine the day I no longer care about others feelings and I put my feelings first

Imagine that one day hurting myself is no longer enough .. 

Imagine the times you called me weak but, now you too are feeling the way I once felt and now you understand.

IMAGINE