I'M NOT FREAKING OKAY

I went through every abuse starting at a young age,
Many times, I felt like I lived in a cage,
Needing to get help, I would confide in a friend
Of course somehow back to my parents it would end,
That's when I kept it all in, and didn't tell a soul,
For I just wanted to get my parents approval
Recognizing as I got to adulthood, that it was impossible,
Eventually I started to look more to the Bible
And I started to realize, how my life was a lie,
Kept getting friends to want me not be shy
Initially it was hard but as I put things together,
Noticing hatred build more and more for my father and mother,
Getting mixed messages, which drives me crazy
Of course if I'm depressed, no one wants to be with me
Keeping a smile on is what I have to do
And it's all because I want people to love me too
Yet if I smile, then everyone thinks I'm fine today...
But, don't be fooled because I'm not freaking okay