It is hard for others to truly understand just how I really feel.
Even though I may look fine from the outside, inside I am fighting something very
real.

Mental Illness is a sickness, I deal with it every day.
Sometimes I wish I would wake up, & it will all just go away.

I miss my dad & brother, & know they are watching over me.
I wish they were both still here, I could imagine how different things would be.

Most of the time I am feeling unhappy, I feel down & very sad.
Some days are better than others, there is always the good & the bad.

Dealing with depression daily, the thoughts that go through my head.
There are days where I don't even want to get up, or even get out of bed.

Most days I spend crying & say to myself "why me".
I wish I could let things not bother me & set all my worries free.

Free of the pain I am suffering deep down inside, & just let it all go.
Wishing others could understand what I feel or am going through, or just really
know.

My mood is very unstable, it changes with each passing day.
I really wish I could wake up feeling happy & hope the sadness doesn't stay.

Anxiety & panic attacks are very scary, & full of constant fear.
Those moments I wish someone could hold me, be close to me & be near.

Feeling hopeless & stressed is something that I can't ignore.
I wish I could learn to deal with things, & take time to explore.

Explore the things that I enjoy & make me happy, things that I love.
Be grateful & thankful for everything, & thank God above.

It is hard to think clearly & concentrate, my head feels in a daze.
I wish everything I was going through was just some type of phase.

I wish upon a miracle, that one day I will just be me again & feel better.
I am praying that I can get back what I lost, & not feel like this forever.

At times I wish I could get a simple tight hug, knowing everything will be okay.
That all my troubles, worries & struggles, will disappear & run away.

There are times I wish I were alone & not having to talk, to avoid any fights.
I feel the safest & protected when I go to bed, when I cover myself during the nights.

Little things keep happening, it's hard to always stay or be strong.
I will think to myself & wonder, what else could really possibly go wrong.

I try to stay calm, but everything affects me & makes me more nervous.
At times I get so frustrated, I feel so brainless, selfless, & worthless.

I worry about my son, fiancé, & mom, having to see how I am like this.
There are things I wish I could do, there are a lot of things that I miss.

I try to do household chores, I try to give it my all & very best.
My mind is telling me differently, my body wants me to rest.

I tend to be a perfectionist as I deal with OCD, things have to be done a certain
way.
I wake up & do things over & over again, each & every single moment of the day.

OCD is time consuming, always focusing on what has to be done or how things
have to be.
Because of this I know I am missing out on life, & all that is important to me.

You see, I need to take medicines, which try to help me in some ways.
I need to take it, for my anxiety, to help me sleep & get me through all the long
days.

Without taking the medicines I am worse & would be a total mess.
I would have heart palpitations & panic, which would cause much more distress.

I look at pictures & in the mirror of myself & see my face & eyes with such fright.
I wish I felt I looked normal, to myself my smile just doesn't feel right.

I hate the way I feel & look, I hate what I've become & see.
I want to be able to accept & love who I am, I want to be "me".

Mental Illness is real, those who deal with it need friends & family to care.
We need loved ones to be patient & listen, to be able to reach out & let us know that
they will be there.

I wish I had a more positive outlook, & my days would be much brighter.
I am giving it my all, because this girl "I am a fighter".