Overwhelmed all the time
The closer I get, the farther away
What is a dream? A hopeless aspiration?
It's not reality though it exists in my mind
Doubt says give up rather than fail
Patience is wavering, so tired of the struggle
All this work to be called doctor
But what do they call me now?
What's in a name? A rose by any other name
would smell just as sweet
So I need an identity because the name is secondary
I need to pursue the dream of being happy with who
A trail of tears marks the years past
But what marks the growth?
Inches? Pounds? Age?
No, just numbers
It's the intangible things like thoughts and actions
Have I grown?
I don't know how to get where I'm going
I don't know who to trust in a cruel world
I hear the still small voice of the almighty
I hear the seductive whisper of the snake...
Whose voice am I following?
I'm afraid of of the answer
What lies beneathe the perfect disposition?
Beneath the veil of a good little girl?
Afraid to face that I'm not a little girl
Afraid to deal with the fact that I'm not perfect
To be or not to be? That is the question
I ask myself at my lowest points
But I always choose to be... to EXIST
Living a passive life observing from the outside
So young but so void
Behind every smile, a suppressed tear
Behind every laugh, choked sadness
Will you love me anyways?
Will you still hold me?
If you knew I had fallen and
gained scars and blemishes?
If you knew that I had given into this world?
Realization is one thing, action is another
When will we start to act on the things
Overwhelmed by the madness inside my head
Full of words I should have said
A number tells me I'm an adult now
But in my journey I'm still a child
Growing more everyday towards an
Identity I can define
Eventually they will call me Doctor
But first and foremost I'm Tracy
I need to take care of her first