I was the road less traveled, but that didn't make a difference.

Mon, 09/14/2015 - 10:02 -- Astod

Saying I love you just hurts
its a void that can't be filled within me
because inadequacy has made me numb again
it has made you numb again.
So I settle for never being yours-
I settle for the freedom 
you have mapped out in your veins
they travel through your skin
like roads you have yet to take
and I wonder if you will bring me with you.. 
But I already know the answer-
love is never enough to rid of these worries
you carry with you like luggage
and I am the worst kind of baggage.
People search a lifetime for a love like this
I have searched for 18 years
trying to convince myself it is real
but I have discovered just like everything else
it is eventually masked by the pain
and thrown away for self-preservation. 
I am too selfless 
maybe it's because I have little self worth-
spending too much time 
making sure others do not feel the pain I do 
but when it does come
this pain of mine-
no one knows how to react
they stand there because 
this is not what they expected. 
Leave me be if you must-
wander to places you will never see
follow the roadmap inside your arms
and the signs within your eyes. 
I will never be fine
but I was this way before you traveled through me. 
I was just a destination you had to reach-
another point on your map.
You always knew you weren't gonna stay
and I guess I was the last to know

This poem is about: 
Me

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