I want you to trust me.

I want the smiles,

The laughter,

And the love back…

I don’t want these tears…

I don’t want these fears…

I want you

To believe in us,

To believe in me…

I want you to understand

That everything I tell you is true.

If I say he means nothing to me…

Then he means nothing to me.

If I tell you I love you

Then, I love you.

I don’t want perfection,

Because that doesn’t exist…

I want the time when you told me you loved me

With each and every kiss.

I don’t want to taste the bitter doubt on your lips,

Or see the doubt in your eyes.

I haven’t done anything

To make you believe that my words

Are lies.

I’ve tried everything to prove

That I’m not her.

That I won’t hurt you…

You’re not the only one with everything on the line…

I’ve been hurt too.

Everyone I know

Eventually stabs me.

Everyone I’ve loved,

I’ve lost,

My hearts been broken to many times to count,

And you came along

And held it so tenderly that it felt whole.

I want that back.

I want,

The random dates,

And the way you used to hold me

So close against your chest that your skin could melt into mine.

The way you used to stare into my eyes,

And I knew everything would be alright.

Now those same eyes,

Wait.

They wait for me to slip up,

To act like the rest.

They judge my every step,

Something I was promised they’d never do.

And those same arms

Don’t know the map of my skin

Like they used to.

The places they rest

Have grown cold.

My heart trembling with each breath,

As I wait for you to step away.

Because you’re beginning to be

What they all are.

You’re acting like they all did

And I know where this acting ends.

I don’t think you know…

How much it hurts,

When you don’t trust me.

When I can see in your eyes

You no longer feel the way you used to.

Did I do something wrong?

Did I break my promise

To never hurt you?

Did I do something bad?

Did I lie?

Cause if so…

I never remember do so…

I remember telling friends no,

Just because I knew you wouldn’t like it.

I remember you telling me,

That you’d never control me…

But that’s what this feels like.

I remember reading that journal for Christmas,

And felling so loved…

Now it’s hard to believe those words.

Because you should remember my philosophy that

Actions,

Speak louder than words.