I Hope

I hope

I hope

I hope

That someday

I will not be afraid


I hope

That I will be afraid but able

Able to do it anyway

I hope that I will be enough of myself

That I don’t have to care

That I will be enough of myself

To care

That I will be enough

Just me

To tell the world

What I feel

Without fear

Without fear of fear

I hope

That I will

Tell them


That I will

Tell all


That I will

Be okay with

Not telling


I hope that they will not scream

Or hurt

Or disown

Or disappoint their way into my eyes


I hope


That they will

And that I will be okay anyway


Okay anyway




I hope that one day

I will not be afraid

Of being afraid


Why not now




It doesn't seem safe.


To tell your family who you love?

Is not safe.

I am dependent


College tuition

And I am afraid

Of what they will say

Of what their eyes will


Of you

I am afraid

They will not want me



If they ever did


Of course they did


But I am afraid that they will not want me

To be theirs




Not ours

Not her

Not that -





Not ours.



What? Nothing.



I am typing and it's loud and bloody but they cannot hear the words only the

Clickity pat flackidy

And they do not know

They may never know

That I sit here

In a well of anxiety

And fear

That I am here and I am hurting

What does it matter?

They are annoyed with my typing, perhaps.

That’s funny.

That they are annoyed with my writing.

When they do not know what it is I say

To no one.

Is it saying if no one hears?


That is the magic of writing.


I am writing

I am waiting

Waiting for what?



I should not use

Such a loud



But they are all this way.



All day

I’ve been taking my pulse


And that sounds like a beginning

But it is

An end.


This poem is about: 
My family
Our world



Thank you so much for taking the time to read through my work! This is my truth in its rawest form, and I hope that you can relate to it in your own way.


Truely amazing.

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741