I hate that I am allowing myself to get excited,

Because the whole time I have been telling myself to go into this light hearted.

But I have realized that I have not learned how to keep myself out of this mess,

And trying to think of how you really feel is all just a guess.

I so badly want to believe that this time will be different from the rest,

And deep down, I know that I am trying my very best.

I am trying so hard to not fall too hard or too fast,

Because this special feeling that you are giving me never seems to last.

And I feel like this is something that is going to be like every other time,

Where I had your heart, but you never had mine.

This whole time that we were talking, we were never on the same page,

And we were never able to move out of the talking stage.

Because if this plays out like every other time, where you never saw me as anything more than just a friend,

I am afraid that I will never be able to believe in love again.

You are the first one in a long time that has made me feel thisw good,

But I can't help knowing that I have messed things up before because I was misunderstood.

I know that in order to love, I need to be able to let go of the only love that I know,

Which was the kind that left me broken hearted, and never had any kind of room to grow.

But maybe this time, you were the one who was made to be in my life all along,

And maybe this is why every other time has always been wrong.