I dont understand.

I'm not as bad as you think

I'm not a problem child

I sit in my room

And I use the internet

I'm not out partying

I'm not out drinking

I'm not shooting up

Or popping pills

Or snorting lines

 

I sit in my room

And I talk to people

I do extra work

I draw

And I listen to music

I'm not leaving the house

Without a reason

I'm not coming home

At some ungodly hour

I go to hang out

I come home by 10

I watch cartoons

And I go to sleep

 

I'm not failing classes

I'm not falling asleep

I'm not talking much

But I get what I need done

I sit there

And just do what I need

Extra classes is what I do

But I get it means nothing to you

Why do you think I'm so much trouble?

When I sit in my room and read or think

When I plug in my music

And just sit and vibe

And sing to myself

 

I'm not scantily clad

Wearing what other girls do

I don’t own lingerie

I own 2 short skirts

And wear leggings with them

I don’t wear tight clothes

Or anything see-through

Jeans and t-shirts and jackets for me

I cover up and am more modest than you think

Even though I guess you don’t see it

I used to wear shirts over my swimsuit

Wore everything 2, 3, 4 sizes too big

So I could hide inside my clothes

You always told me I was fat

So I believed you cause its you

You said it, other kids said it, and family did too

 

So I didn’t know what to do

You wouldn’t eat better

We always had junk food because it was easy to get

You bought the food so I couldn’t choose

But I got older and still remained the same

Timid around you

Timid to say anything

Uncomfortable to speak

 

Now look

Almost 18 and dropped weight

I have a figure

And still I hide behind my jackets

Uncomfortable because of you

Those who jab at me and poke fun

Dropped weight and gained muscle

Doing drill and rifle

Commanding my own squad

Ive only told you 10 times…

And you do what you always do
“that’s nice” or “mkay…”

Things important

Mean little to nothing to you

But then you wonder why I don’t bother

To tell you when something important

Comes up at hand

Why would i?

 

I don’t think you understand

You always say you don’t care

So I stopped caring

You dropped everything for the others

No matter what it was

But when it came to me

You couldn’t have cared less

I'm timid

I'm modest

I ask for little too nothing…

And even that is too much for you

Now I'm the one who doesn’t understand

 

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