I Did It Anyway

Wed, 07/06/2016 - 22:56 -- TaylorW

In this world that we live in, we’re all God’s children

But how does it make sense that somehow I’m the exception

I’m unique, I’m me, I’m one in a million

But people see me as well as others as “less than”

We go through childhood believing we’re the villains

When our parents can’t accept

The idea that we might be a little different.

 

They’re gal pals, just gals being pals, pals being gals,

Look at them, a couple of gals just palling

It’s so cute how pals can be gals, friendship goals.

She quit her job and moved across the US,

Away from her family and home

Because they are so close

Both wearing white, standing at the altar

Looking at one another with such love and adoration

They’re adopting a child,

A sweet little girl who thinks it’s so cool

that she’s getting two moms

Isn’t it so cute?

They must be the best of friends.

Best gal pals forever.

What’s a lesbian again?

 

Oh, you’re cutting your hair?

Be careful you don’t make yourself look like a dyke

Or else who’s gonna want you?

Oh, you shop in the men’s section?

Never mind how much cheaper and more comfortable the clothes are

Be careful you don’t look too butch, too masculine,

Too ‘Not What I Had in Mind 16 Years Ago’

You can be anything you want to be

But why would you want to be yourself?

 

Oh, you’re allowed to express yourself and to be who you are,

As long as who you are is what I think you should be

The fact is, though, you’re

Not feminine enough, not good enough with hair, not good enough with makeup, not

good enough at bringing men home, not good enough at school, not good enough at

band, not able to have a good enough future if you keep on the road you’re going down.

So why don’t you say what you really mean.

In the world we live in, where I’m expected to bend to everyone’s will

(except my own)

I’m not good enough for you.

 

It took me 16 years to be okay with who I am

And who I will grow to love

It took me 16 years to look in the mirror and be able to honestly say

“I love myself.  There’s nothing wrong with me.”

It took me 16 years to say

“lesbians are real and wonderful and beautiful and so.  Am.  I.”

It took me 16 years to accept that I can love a woman

In the same way that my mother loves a man

It took me 16 years to realize that all of the self hatred that I held was pointless,

Only holding me back from what I could be.

It took me 16 years to climb out of the trench that you dug

With your closed minds and your ignorant words and your judgemental attitude towards

The idea that we might be a little different.

But I did it anyway.

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community

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